Working Late
May. 6th, 2009 09:37 pmYes, I realize that it's almost ten and I'm still in the damn office! Fred 'You-Need-To-Make-Up-For-Lost-Time-While-Dead' Duncan has managed to make this place a largely paperless office by taking everyone's admin work and dropping it right on my desk.
So, in traditional police tradition, I'm going to go to the pub after work and drink until the only thing I have to worry about being in triplicate is my vision. Anyone in town up for a drink?
So, in traditional police tradition, I'm going to go to the pub after work and drink until the only thing I have to worry about being in triplicate is my vision. Anyone in town up for a drink?
Alright, so the classless baggage that is currently hanging around my room is my younger sister Victoria Kane. She is here to visit me for my birthday, even though I seem to recall when she asked what I wanted for my birthday, the answer was 'stay away from where I live at all costs'.
There are officially rules. Do not sleep with my sister. She may try, but the person I will blame will be you. I will misuse all powers granted to me by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, a father emmeshed in the highest levels of British Intelligence and the fact fact that I'm bigger and stronger than most of you in response to any infraction of this one rule.
She is not to be trusted. There will be stories. They are lies. Again, not to be trusted. Especially in regards to whether or not she needs another drink. Do not be fooled by her wily Canadian ways.
If I do not survive this weekend, it will be entirely her fault. I want that documented beforehand.
There are officially rules. Do not sleep with my sister. She may try, but the person I will blame will be you. I will misuse all powers granted to me by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, a father emmeshed in the highest levels of British Intelligence and the fact fact that I'm bigger and stronger than most of you in response to any infraction of this one rule.
She is not to be trusted. There will be stories. They are lies. Again, not to be trusted. Especially in regards to whether or not she needs another drink. Do not be fooled by her wily Canadian ways.
If I do not survive this weekend, it will be entirely her fault. I want that documented beforehand.
Celebration
Mar. 18th, 2009 01:51 pmYou know the best part about St.Patrick's Day? Getting drunken photos from the phone of the wife of your ex-boss, showing you one of the top engineering minds on the planet just staggered off to throw up eight Guinness into a potted plant.
You know the worst part about St.Patrick's Day? Getting drunken photos from your sister's phone about her showing off her new green bra and panty set in a downtown Toronto bar, aurrounded by deranged med students, with a half finished bottle of Jameson's in her hand.
New rule for St.Patrick's Day. No cellphones.
Thank god it's early enough in the afternoon for breakfast. Logan, a little hair of the dog sound good?
You know the worst part about St.Patrick's Day? Getting drunken photos from your sister's phone about her showing off her new green bra and panty set in a downtown Toronto bar, aurrounded by deranged med students, with a half finished bottle of Jameson's in her hand.
New rule for St.Patrick's Day. No cellphones.
Thank god it's early enough in the afternoon for breakfast. Logan, a little hair of the dog sound good?
(no subject)
May. 2nd, 2007 01:57 pmForge's visit to Canada continues, including a meeting with one of the world's great technological geniuses, and a brush with the unsettling Director of Department H.
( Tack on a Tim Horton's charge account and unfettered access to the poutine bar and you might have something there, Director. )
( Tack on a Tim Horton's charge account and unfettered access to the poutine bar and you might have something there, Director. )
What The Hell?
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:25 pmI leave the mansion for three days, and the fury of the North descended on Kansas it seems. In order that I don't miss out, another storm front seems to have frozen every plane at Pearson to the tarmac, meaning I'll be catching my flight roughly around my thirty-fifth birthday. Not unsurprisingly, I've decided to drive back instead. Anyone counting, I will be back in the mansion only... 16 hours later than I said.
Hope everyone is doing alright in Kansas City.
Hope everyone is doing alright in Kansas City.
I Am Not Hungover
Feb. 7th, 2007 05:11 pmEspecially not still at 5pm. There is something more. I was poisoned, by death spores. No really. Big ones. They had boots on and piercings and used colourful langauge. I think they boosted my liver.
See, this is why I'm a role model to the youth.
Alright, screw this for a sack of beavers. I'm going down to Harry's.
See, this is why I'm a role model to the youth.
Alright, screw this for a sack of beavers. I'm going down to Harry's.
Papaya Ambush
Nov. 13th, 2006 10:56 pmI am the victim of a drive-by fruiting. After my lovely drinks in the city, I came back here to discover a rainforest sitting on the table in my room. Seriously, you could lose an African expedition in here for easily ten years. Longer if they slip down between the plums and starfruit and end up in that mystical land inhabited only by forgotten individual grapes and that weird green plastic straw.
I am going to have a cup of coffee and fight to the death with a couple of parsimmons. If I lose, bury me in one of those decoratively hollowed out watermelons you get on cruise buffets.
I am going to have a cup of coffee and fight to the death with a couple of parsimmons. If I lose, bury me in one of those decoratively hollowed out watermelons you get on cruise buffets.
Me, Myself and Eh
Nov. 10th, 2006 12:35 pmThis is my first posting to include a mandatory blog. I suddenly have all these political opinions and a total lack of respect for any other point of view. Doesn’t anyone use the internet just to steal music and download porn any more?
My name is Garrison Kane. As the more observant of you might have figured out, I am a Special Inspector of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I will entertain any intelligent questions about the force you might have, but no, I will not sing the song. Also, there’s a special circle in Hell reserved for anyone with anything to do with Paul Gross and his television show.
I am part of an agency swap with the FBI, and due to the fact that I’m a mutant, it made sense to drop me here to help out. For you students, depending on Miss Munroe's good will, I may be serving as a general substitute teacher this year. I have double major in Psychology and Criminology, on a shiny diploma from the University of Ottawa and everything. I’m from Toronto , although I’ve spent the last eight months posted in Vancouver.
If you need any more information, you’ll have to be the one that shows me how to find the pub around here.
My name is Garrison Kane. As the more observant of you might have figured out, I am a Special Inspector of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I will entertain any intelligent questions about the force you might have, but no, I will not sing the song. Also, there’s a special circle in Hell reserved for anyone with anything to do with Paul Gross and his television show.
I am part of an agency swap with the FBI, and due to the fact that I’m a mutant, it made sense to drop me here to help out. For you students, depending on Miss Munroe's good will, I may be serving as a general substitute teacher this year. I have double major in Psychology and Criminology, on a shiny diploma from the University of Ottawa and everything. I’m from Toronto , although I’ve spent the last eight months posted in Vancouver.
If you need any more information, you’ll have to be the one that shows me how to find the pub around here.